I wrote this seven years ago. I'm pleased to note that as well as pink pajamas, Mothers' Day catalogues now feature pink digital cameras, Nintendo DS and pink toolkits.
Mother’s Day
I’m leafing through the latest Mother’s Day catalogues deciding which items to circle and leave lying around in strategic places should the family need a little help.
This is what I’ve discovered so far:
Four different brands of hair straightener and one curling iron
I didn’t know straight hair was so popular!
Ten pages of perfumes and beauty products
No four-year old boy (or husband for that matter) should be encouraged to buy these for you unless your tastes are very well-defined.
Fluffy slippers and pyjamas with bears
I read somewhere recently that adults with bears on their clothing is a sign of serious psychological disturbance. But I guess they’re ok on the PJs. Still, a bit mumsy. Just because you’re a mother doesn’t mean you’re condemned to a life of flannelette.
Electrical appliances
Do NOT give Mother an iron (except one of those $500 ones I saw advertised recently, and then, only if it’s accompanied by someone to actually DO the ironing.)
Underwear
Would you buy your mother a bra for Mother’s Day? Should my four year old buy me one? No, no, no.
Chocolates
Well ok. I have no argument with this!
Exercise balls and get fit videos
You should tread very carefully here. This is a present that should not be given unless specifically requested!
And my own personal favourite:
Wind chimes that “simulate the randomness of natural wind”
Great – you can listen to irritating tinkling without the bother of actually going outside and getting your straight hair mussed up.
But of course all I really want for Mother’s Day is hugs from my special people.
Well ok, maybe hugs and chocolate.
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Beth you never fail to amuse me!! I was thinking of getting Mum some tea-towels, some anti-aging face cream and a self-help book for Mother's Day. What do you think? :P
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo!
ReplyDeleteYou love your mother. Go with the chocolates.
btw, a friend of mine tells me she's been "lurking" on your blog and thoroughly enjoying it. She's a librarian and avid book club member so I expect is enjoying your book reviews (as am I!).
You're right. Maybe I'll try a bit harder. Get her an Oprah-endorsed self-help book. And I am pleased to hear I have some readers!! Is your friend a blogger member? I need followers!! I'm currently reading The Night Watch (Sarah Waters) and Wolf Hall (Hilary Mantel), loving both. Having a book blog really encourages me to read more, which is, like, super awesome.
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